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August 10, 2008

Leibermanagain

I know I said that Veepstake speculation is rather pointless, but this is just too good to pass up:

McCain couldn't keep the veep away from the convention. But he can follow up Cheney's speech to the assembled masses with the gong-ringing spectacle of Joe Lieberman, Vice Presidential nominee for the Republican Party, delivering a keynote address dedicated to the proposition that war with Russia and Iran is worth more to America than ten tons of liberty and fifty trillion dollars. This dwarfs even Cheney's appreciation for costly conflicts, and the sight of Loserman himself holding Mac's hand aloft, as if the two called off the boxing match of partisan politics to proclaim one another the winner, will cause Cheney's heart to implode and turn George W. Bush into a pumpkin.

Paleocons will set fire to their TVs, AIPAC will commission an aircraft carrier, and a Day of Mourning will be proclaimed in Damascus; Putin will quietly switch places with Daniel Craig, and Reason magazine will announce the Death of Fun in a double issue that endorses John Edwards for President. John McCain himself will unveil a 50:1 size artist's rendering of the new dollar coin, with Harry Truman on one side and Ariel Sharon on the other, and he will promise to appoint Doug Feith Attorney General and Hillary Clinton Ambassador to Yemen. Bill Clinton will board himself up in the Chateau Marmont with Kristanna Loken and Carla Bruni, and Sarkozy will annex Lebanon and then commit suicide.

Pat Buchanan will immediately announce his candidacy on the Tory Party ticket for the Presidency of Canada, Daniel Larison will be appointed Comes privatae largitionis of Chicago, and Will Wilkinson will declare central Iowa a sovereign Misery-Free Zone with completely porous borders. Andrew Sullivan will move to the Isle of Man. Ross and Reihan will be named the emergency interim CEOs of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Matt Lauer will melt into a puddle of Awesomeberry flavored Kool-Aid, Family Guy will run only on Danish satellite, and The New Republic will become profitable. Joel Osteen will gain eighty pounds, David Brooks will become the Scarlet Pimpernel, and the Bilderbergs will relocate to Shanghai.

Posted by Zach Wendling at August 10, 2008 09:00 PM

Comments

Do Republicans really want to embrace Lieberman when he has not only compared John Hagee to Moses but says that Hagee is delivering a greater multitude out of bondage than Moses did? Catholics will abide Lieberman as U.S. Senator, but would they be willing to do the same for a Vice-president Lieberman?

And how much difference would Lieberman as GOP VP nominee make to Jewish voters? Maybe a lot, but then maybe not so much. Back in May, Galup had Obama leading McCain among Jewish voters by only a 61-32 margin. But that was with sparks still flying between Clinton and Obama. In 2000, pre 9/11, of course, Gore/Lieberman received 79% of the Jewish vote to Bush's 19%. In 2004, post 9/11, Kerry received 74% of the Jewish vote to 25% for Bush. This according to Pew Research. A gain for Bush, yes, but far, far short of what many pundits were predicting. Indeed, a few months before the 2004 election, some polls had Kerry with as little as 59% support among Jewish voters. With Lieberman as the VP nominee, the Republican Convention would have a harder time presenting a cohesive message. It could happen though. Ronald Reagan was willing in 1976 to announce the fairly liberal (ADA voting average around 85%, 100% from the AFL-CIO) Sen. Richard Schweiker, R-Pennsylvania as his VP nominee choice, albeit Ford got the nomination.

So I can share what does or doesn't make sense to me, but as I was shocked almost beyond belief when Reagan announced Schweiker as his choice, I make no predictions of what McCain will do.

Posted by: Joel Betow at August 15, 2008 08:51 PM | permalink

Conservatives won't embrace Lieberman any more than they've embraced McCain. That is, they'll tolerate him because he supports the "War on Terror," and because the fall campaign, at least to this point, is more about stopping Obama than electing the GOP candidate.

Posted by: DMD at August 16, 2008 03:58 PM | permalink

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