Privacy, Individualism and the Death of Community
by Eric Youngblood

We sure do prize our privacy, don't we? It has become one of our commandments, "Thou Shalt Not Invade My Privacy!" Parents concerned about their children read a journal, check out something online and find out that things aren't so good. Maybe their kids are into something they shouldn't be. So when the parents confront the children, the response of the child is, "You read my journal? How dare you!!! You don't trust me?" Then the parent is forced to feel like they are in the wrong. So let's talk about true community, true friendships and relationships and see, in light of the culture that we live in, are they really possible...

For most of us, fear drives us to hide. "If you knew my thoughts, my fears and insecurities, my past sins, my struggles and motives, would you condemn me and run away from me and hide? Would you reject me?" That is essentially the struggle we have in life. As little children, we wore everything on the outside. When we were tired and grumpy, everyone knew. When we were hungry, everyone knew. When we were happy, everyone knew. When we were angry, everyone knew. As children we weren't very good at lying and covering up what we had or had not done. These are all things that we learned as we grew up. We learned by intimidation, by manipulation, by rejection and condemnation that there are things inside of us that we should never let other people see, or at least not until they get close enough. So we slowly begin our retreat inside. We put on a smile, we laugh and joke, we drown ourselves in distraction, endless entertainment and the pursuit of fulfilling our lusts. We bury our hurt and pain, we bury our anger and unforgiveness, we bury our disappoints over the failures of those closest to us.

Now in a backwards attempt, all of our hiding, our demands for privacy, the covering over of ourselves, it is our way of staying close to people. We don't want them to reject us and run away from us, so we don't let them see us for who we really are. We do it in our dress and makeup - hoping to hide our blemishes, accentuate the acceptable parts. We do it in our dating relationships, putting the best foot forward until they have already become emotionally attached enough to stay with us once the ugliness starts to come out. We do it at work - it is encouraged, if not demanded in the workplace. We do in our marriages as the husband and wife express frustration, disappointment and disapproval with one another. I mean, even in our closest relationships, we hide and can often be overcome by loneliness.

But here is the sad truth: We are often correct in assuming that people would reject us if they really saw us and knew us, warts, sins, failures and all. In their self-righteousness and self-deception, they would probably look down on us, turn away and say, "I don't believe it. I would never do that. How could they do that or think that or be like that?" And there we stand alone. But a sadder truth is that though we may be in the receiving end of rejection and judgment, we continue the cycle as we pass along rejection and condemnation to others who don't fit our mold.

That is the powerful thing of the story where the woman caught in the act of adultery is brought before Jesus. Did you catch what I just said, "CAUGHT IN THE ACT OF ADULTERY"? They probably didn't take the time to put a nice outfit on her or possibly even allow her to dress. She most likely was naked. Yes, she was physically naked before this angry, condemning mob, but she was also naked morally. She couldn't deny her sin. She couldn't act like it didn't happen, like some prominent people in politics today (I'm not naming names). She just laid there on the ground exposed for everyone to see. Put yourself in that position - exposed with nothing to hide behind. No clothes, no smile, no jokes, no personality - nothing can hide your nakedness. The mob is demanding Jesus to judge her and condemn her like they already have in their own minds and are ready to condemn her to death with rocks on their hands. I mean, it's the law, right? So Jesus stooped down to write on the ground. What did he write? Whatever it was, people started dropping their stones and walking away, starting with the oldest. I can only imagine. Listing sins? Listing names of people who had committed adultery in the crowd? Listing the adulterous thoughts of these very zealous and religious people? Whatever it was, everybody left. There she lay on the ground, still naked and now alone with Jesus. So what did Jesus say to her? He knew everything. He knew her actions, but he also knew her thoughts. He knew her loneliness and her shame. He knew her longing. He knew her craving for love and acceptance. He knew her completely and fully. Yes, his eyes most likely saw her physical nakedness, but more than that, his eyes could see right into the nakedness of her heart and uncover all of that. And then he speaks, "Woman, where are those that condemn you?" Yes, she was embarrassed, humiliated and guilty, but she also was very scared because this angry mob wanted to kill her in condemnation on the spot. So she probably was not looking up at this point. But after he speaks, just picture her lifting her head, looking around, and everyone is gone. Then Jesus says, "Neither do i condemn you. Go and sin no more!!!"

Have you ever experienced the release of guilt before? Guilt and shame for something you did or said can weigh you down to the point that it seems like it weighs you down physically. But something happens. Maybe you confess it to someone. Maybe you are caught and punished, and the act of punishment frees you to let go. But the weight is released and there is lightness in your heart and spirit. I remember in high school when this happened. I had been living a hidden life from my mom, and then one day she found something in my coat. And there I was naked. I couldn't lie. I couldn't cover up. I was exposed. And she punished me, but she also poured her love on me. And the weirdest thing happened. I was grounded for a month, but I hadn't felt so happy and free for a long time. Multiply that a thousand times over, and that is probably what this woman felt.

Let me finish with this verse I read the other day in 1 John 1:7. "But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." Light and darkness are a picture of the two different kinds of lives. We hide in darkness, fear of being exposed. Jesus actually said that some people hated the light because they loved evil and needed the cover of darkness to continue on in their sin. But the light - that is where things are seen for what they really are. That is where we can't hide anymore, where we stand naked and exposed for what we really are. The light is where we put aside our external attempts (often called "works" or self-righteousness) to cover over our nakedness, to whitewash our tombs, as it were. And do you realize that it is only in the light that you and I, that anyone can really love and be loved? It says that it is in the light that we have "fellowship" with one another. This doesn't mean we get together and see a movie or have cookies or play games (you know, all those things that we call "fellowship" in our day). Fellowship meant "oneness, sharing, communion." It is the place where we really connect with another person. I mean, that's what we are all looking for, isn't it? That's what all our songs, movies, TV shows and books seemed to be consumed by. But notice what else John says. he says that yes, a real fellowship can only happen in the light, but it also says that it is in the light that the "blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." We all carry around guilt, shame and regret over things we have done, said, or maybe not done and said. It is only in the nakedness at the foot of the cross where we are going to find all that we are looking for. In the garden, Adam and Eve sinned and they tried to hide from God and also to hide their nakedness. Then they tried to blame one another. We have been battling the same thing since the beginning of mankind. But there Jesus stands while we are laying on the ground naked, ashamed, hiding our faces. Can you hear him saying to you, "Where are those that condemn you? Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." It is in this light that we are finally free to love and be loved.