I think you're right that the couple clearly does not really intend to give their guests something that they will value. It's probably more a personal value the couple attaches to fulfilling expectations or aesthetics or tradition or something, but as long as they value the perceived benefit as much as they paid for it, it's not deadweight loss. There's no accounting for taste.

I've read several articles over the past couple years about how parents now have to supply gift bags for others that attend their kids' birthday parties. I.e., they have to buy gifts in order to ensure that their kids' friends will show up.

I assume that, like most inane, new traditions (e.g. wedding favors? or are they "normal" already?), this is something that's more of a worry for the upper and upper-middle crust, and not so much for us regular schmucks.

The entire wedding industry is, if not actually corrupt, at least extremely exploitative. They feed off of peer pressure. The invention of "favors" is an obvious example. "You don't want people to think you're cheap, do you??"

Bridal and bridesmaid dresses are probably the worst waste of money ever experienced by anyone not part of the highest 10% of income in this country. I can understand the reason for not wanting a rented bridal gown, but I will never understand why bridesmaid dresses must be purchased, not rented.

I will never understand why bridesmaid dresses must be purchased, not rented.

I have yet to see a dress that can be made adjustable in the four areas of fitting for a lady. In otherwords you almost always have to alter a dress to get it to fit on the hips, waist, legs (length) and bust.

That being said, I dont understand the need for bridesmaid dresses to be something you cannot rewear to a formal function.

At my oldest brother's wedding, my sister-in-law had the bridesmaids choose their own dresses (she chose the color - red) so that they would get something they liked and would be able to wear again. As long as the colors matched, she was happy - it was a Marine (my brother)/Navy (my sister-in-law) wedding, so my brother and his attendants wore their dress uniforms and the men who weren't in the military wore dark suits. Worked perfectly, and there were no party "favors" - just a nice wedding with a cake and snacks reception at a base chapel/hall, and everybody had a good time.

My younger brother and his wife married at their local church, with a cake and snacks reception at the church's fellowship hall. The bridesmaids had special dresses, but they weren't expensive styles or fabrics - and there were no wedding "favors" of any kind. Just a lot of candid photos at the reception, and a lot of good memories.

Maybe it depends on the wedding party's focus?

The entire wedding industry is, if not actually corrupt, at least extremely exploitative.

I think the "X Months' Salary" standard for engagement rings is a prime example of this. De Beers created the two-month standard as part of an advertising campaign, and more recently, that's even been bumped up to THREE months' worth of income. And there's enormous pressure to spend that kind of money.

I can understand the reason for not wanting a rented bridal gown, but I will never understand why bridesmaid dresses must be purchased, not rented.

Having been a groomsman four times in the past two years, I've gotten aggravated at the requests that I rent a tuxedo three of those times, despite the fact that I OWN a tuxedo that was tailored specifically for me. One of those times I secretly declined and wore my own tux, and no one ever noticed the difference.

On the plus side, there was a news story some months back about a trend among young brides to modify and reuse their mothers' wedding dresses. It may not be widespread, but it's a worthwhile old-fashioned tradition to resurrect.

Oh, I think Loren is spot-on about engagement rings. I know one couple who would be hitched if he didn't feel enormous pressure to spend way too much on a ring. I'd speculate that there are many unwed couples at this margin.

One of my co-workers got married about three years ago and went through this torturous process to choose the appropriate ring. I was actually kind of nauseated watching and listening to the whole "it has to be at least (so many) carats..." and all of the other nonsense about the ring itself. Geez!! What happened to the days when whatever the couple could find so that they could start their lives together and build a future, instead of having to deliver one (or have it delivered) on a silver (or platinum) platter??? YIKES!!

Well, when my husband and I married, we both had houses with everything we needed, so didn't want gifts.
And both being doctors, if we formally married we would have had to have 700 guests.
So we arranged with our priest to have a quiet wedding with only families in attendence, scheduled at 6 pm.
Father knew we both needed help, so he even gave us a mass, which is not normally done in evening Catholic weddings.
Next day, we showed up with our rings and everyone was mad.
But it probably saved us ten thousand dollars.
The large wedding is about families joining. with older couples where my grown son gave me away, it's a lot simpler.

So uhh... in order to avoid all of the senseless PR around weddings, does someone want to give me a suitable ring at a good price... You know to avoid the middleman...

The wedding industry....don't get me started.
How about the funeral industry ripoff/scam?
They get you coming and going.