In the Agora: Hillary Riots Continue Unabated

April 24, 2006

Hillary Riots Continue Unabated

Note: the following is satire. Reader discretion is strongly advised for the humor-imparied.

Violent protests broke out again in the liberal strongholds of New York City, Boston, and San Francisco today as left-wingers demanded the death of Thomas D. Kuiper, the author of a compilation of unflattering quotes attributed to Hillary Clinton. The unrest has been spurred on by militant liberal leader al-Davidbrock, who last week urged his followers--known as the Move-on Martyrs Brigade--to assault the New York Times for publishing a book review which did not condemn Kuiper's compilation.

"The New York Times has shown itself to be complicit in the neocon conspiracy against all that is right and good. We will not rest until this heresy is destroyed, praise be to Clinton!" said al-Davidbrock on the militant web site Media Matters. Fearing for public safety, the Times backed down yesterday and published a "correction" of the review, including criticisms to mollify the protesters.

Although the protests in front of the Times have subsided, attacks on the book's publisher, World Ahead Publishing, have continued. A young liberal wearing a black mask held a Molotov cocktail in one hand and a copy of Bushisms in the other, commented "It is our duty to make fun of infidel conservative leaders such as Bush and Rumsfeld, but it is blasphemy to offend the sacred prophetess Hillary." "Death to Kuiper!" he shouted, and hurled the incendiary device at the company's front entrance.

City officials have attempted to distance themselves from the book's inflammatory content, while upholding the right to free speech and press. Officials in Boston are contemplating an attempt to calm the protests by sponsoring a public appearance by liberal entertainer Michael "abu-Bigmac" Moore.

Disclaimer: The preceding should in no way be construed as comparing liberals and/or Democrats to Islamic extremists. The intent is to satirize the fundamentalist Islamic reaction to the Jyllands-Posten cartoons by comparing it to the reaction to the book I've Always Been a Yankees Fan. The latter, though silly, is how a culture that values freedom handles such issues. Have a nice day.

Posted by Eric Seymour at April 24, 2006 05:36 PM

Comments

A young liberal wearing a black mask held a Molotov cocktail in one hand and a copy of Bushisms in the other, commented "It is our duty to make fun of infidel conservative leaders such as Bush and Rumsfeld, but it is blasphemy to offend the sacred prophetess Hillary." "Death to Kuiper!" he shouted, and hurled the incendiary device at the company's front entrance.

Hillary as the sacred prophetess of liberals? That's not satire, that's fantasy!

Spend a little time on left-leaning blogs, you'll get what I mean.

Posted by: JohnS at April 24, 2006 06:31 PM | permalink

richard loop need too sell this house today i
live at 708 s cory ln lot 72 bloomington , in
47403 need too sell i move away $25,ooo
too $40,000 need the money today come see me
leave me a note help me now thank you

Posted by: richard loop at April 25, 2006 04:11 AM | permalink

Well, that's just silly. Pro-war, abortion-moderate, dull, controversial Hillary Clinton is far from being such a liberal icon. I think the real case is that the right really, really wants her to be.

Posted by: Jon at April 29, 2006 08:58 PM | permalink

April 24, 2006

Hillary Riots Continue Unabated

Comments

Post a comment