In the Agora: Marital History

June 27, 2005

Marital History

With marriage - its meaning, its ideal, its history - an ongoing subject of debate, I think it's worth revisiting its context in the Medieval Age. A perfect speciman to observe is Peter Abelard (1079-1142), a student and teacher at Notre Dame in Paris, among other places. He was one of the first, and certainly the most notable, to bridge the gap in an intellectual dispute at the time between nominalism and realism. He championed a view that held universals conceived by man are not intangible realities, as realists believed, nor are they mere names, as the nominalists claimed; he believed they are clues to reality.

Although history may record this philosophy as Abelard's greatest contribution, I will always remember him for his relationship to one of his students, Heloise. After instructing her, he later recalled, there were soon more kisses than syllogisms and he was singing to her the songs of the troubadours. When she told him she was pregnant he took her to his sister's home, where they were together until the birth of their son.

Abelard then proposed that they marry, but she demurred, and her objections reveal much about the state of marriage in that point in history. First she told him to continue in a churchly career that would call for celibacy. He could have taught as a layman, but the fees would not support a family, forcing him to take extra employment. She was not willing to ruin his career in Church and school. But more interestingly, if they were to continue hteir relationship she wanted to remain unwed. Why? Marriage had been demeaned over the centuries to be about interests in property. Marriage was a tool by landowners to consolidate property and by royalty to enlarge kingdoms. "I desire," she said, "not yours, but you." The two eventually married but ended their lives in monastic communities, she an abbess, he as a monk of Cluny.

The larger point to this love story is that marriage has not always been the pinnacle of an ideal Godly relationship, as many advocates sometimes claim. Property married property and it was not uncommon for children to be betrothed in infancy. There was no personal feeling. Romantic love was a rebellion against loveless marriages so commonplace for centuries.

Posted by Joshua Claybourn at June 27, 2005 09:12 AM

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The main part of the story for your purposes is her protestation against marriage. Nonetheless, since you included the further development of their tale, it seems pretty important to include such facts as: they only married in an attempt to appease her uncle; and that the attempt apparently failed, as he thereupon hired some thugs to castrate Abelard, and it was only upon that event that they chose to pursue cloistered lives (thereby providing the opportunity for them to write their many wonderful letters to each other).

Posted by: philosopher at June 27, 2005 10:12 AM | permalink

This slice of history highlights not only the fact that marriage has not always been the "pinnacle of an ideal Godly relationship," but also that marriage has not always been a publicly recognized celebration of a couple's love for one another.

Posted by: Adam Packer at June 27, 2005 10:52 AM | permalink

Was Abelard a monk or a friar at the time? I'm not reading with any degree of concentration, but I seem to recall in a history of the Reformation I'm reading that celibacy has only been a requirement for regular clergy since about 1500. However, members of various fraternal orders required celibacy of their members.

Posted by: Doug at June 27, 2005 02:19 PM | permalink

The BBC had an In Our Time on Abelard and Heloise.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/history/inourtime/ram/inourtime_20050505.ram

Mind you I'm only guessing on this, but I think castration would have some sort of profound impact on a person's outlook.

Posted by: Charles at June 28, 2005 01:22 PM | permalink

June 27, 2005

Marital History

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