Time of fellowship
This is a post for ministers, particularly Christian ones who seem to relish in the particuar practice I’m about to admonish. During a period of worship often called a “time of fellowship,” some pastors love asking people to greet those around them before delving into their sermon. I understand the point it; it’s an attempt to foster stronger community among the congregation, an attempt to spread happiness, and a means for the pastor to feel as though he’s doing something creative. But those objectives are rarely achieved, and in the end it usually only results in a few people feeling awkward. Forced hellos that last for only a few seconds do little to strengthen friendship. Fellowship takes place in more meaningful ways before and after the service, so I think it’s better for pastors to ditch the “time of fellowship” during the actual service.
27 Responses to “Time of fellowship”
In the Episcopal church we have the Peace before the eucharist. It is a formal recognition, a liturgical representation of the kingdom of God. Promoting friendship happens in the life of the church, not in sacred time, where we are already one body. This “fellowship” seems clumsy and useless to me.
One wonders how many colds, sore throats, and other diseases are spread by this contact? I suppose worship practices change to fit the society with consequent loss of unique tradition. One should, from time to time, visit a Greek Orthodox service or a tridentine Latin Mass to see what has been gained and what has been lost.
Socializing takes place before and after church, but I’m not sure I would call it true fellowship. If someone wants true fellowship in church, they need to be part of a discipleship group, Bible study, Sunday school class, men or women’s group, etc. If you don’t know my dreams and aspirations or my fears and anxieties, you haven’t really fellowshiped with me.
Nevertheless, I think you make a valid point.
Well said Joel.
I would echo that the phrase “time of fellowship” really limits the richness of the NT concept. My thought is that a time of greeting serves more like an ice-breaker. I do like to hear the talking going on. And I appreciate the smiles and hugs. It’s a very good time to receive and give encouragement. A good moment to notice other people who are seeking God. And, I think, a moment that lets us see beyond ourselves to the people that God has brought together.
OK, I’ll take the contrarian stand and defend the “greeting time” or “time of fellowship” or “Passing of the peace.” We began doing it in our worship services for a number of reasons … fostering a stronger sense of community was one of them (this was a staunchly “frozen chosen” Presbyterian congregation). But no one thinks of it as just a time to spread happiness or give the pastors something creative to do.
In our service, the time of fellowship occurs right after the Prayer of Confession. Perhaps it is only a symbolic gesture (isn’t much of liturgy like that?) but it is meant to represent that when we are accepted and forgiven by Christ, we also accept and forgive one another. It is a representation of the now and future Kingdom of God, of heaven, in fellowship with God and one another. We follow the time of fellowship with the singing of the Gloria Patri — we are forgiven, the Body is One, God must be praised.
It also serves a practical purpose, in that it gives everyone an opportunity to meet and greet any visitors we have that day. Sometimes physical needs are expressed, or prayer requests that might not be shared at another time.
I remember one instance in which a needy couple told one of the elders during the greeting time that they needed a ride to a food bank that day. He passed the word to me … and I eventually gave them that ride. The couple began attending regularly for a while after that.
What I’m saying is, I think there’s a theological basis for a time of fellowship … and it can be an opportunity for love and service, if you are sensitive enough to take advantage of it.
I agree, and would add (as someone who’s been exclusively a visitor to churches since age 12) that thie “fellowship time” is particularly awkward for visitors who don’t know anybody. You stand there wondering “am I supposed to greet people, or should I wait for them to greet me?”
Out and About the Blogroll and Beyond
Macker is blogging again at a new Pray Naked Experience. I had him on my blogroll for a long time, then he quit posting and seemed to drop off the face of the earth. I’m happy to see that he’s
I have attended various churches over the years. The church I am now a member of does this in its service. Yes, it does not really promote fellowship, but it is a way to welcome visitors and say hello to people. At first it was a little awkward, but it became easier and even enjoyable. It probably is a personal preference, but I like it.
This isn’t something that really happens in British churches. Sharing the Peace at communion can in some places become a bit of a “free for all”, but mostly it is a liturgical greeting – albeit one delivered with a smile! And even that sharing is too much for many of our congregations. Put it down to the good old British reserve.
Should We Forego “Greeting Those Around Us”?
Josh Claybourn finally said what I’ve been thinking for years. Let’s get rid of the
To pretend to be warm or not to pretend to warm, that is the question; or maybe not.
Why do we struggle so badly to have community? I think the right thing to do is to be building community outside of the worship service so that people actually know and love each other. So when they get into the worship service when it comes time for the brief moment of fellowship, the place almost spontaneously erupts with love and laughter.
The problem is, we are too busy to do those other things. So, how do we kill the problem of busyness? Or worse yet how do we solve the problem of chasing the world that causes people to be busy.
Solve this later problem and the moment of fellowship would be a non-issue.
Wayne Moran
Q and A Blogger
http://www.qandablog.com
Disagree! The “passing of the peace” timke in my church has been a key thing that has led several families to return again, and many have joined. My complaint with it is not that it’s awkward or forced, but that it’s too celebratory and winds up taking too long!
Size of congregations probably matters; mine is relatively small and almost everyone knows everyone else, as least by sight and name.
It was also an early church practice, btw, intended to be a time to extend the peace and love of Christ to others, not as “fellowship” per se.
Donald makes a good point, too. However, for passing the peace to work, the pastor needs to be observant if people are left out. When, as a single person, I first started attending a church in San Antonio, people would often totally ignore me — in fact they often almost shoved me aside so they could get to their friends.
Donald is right that the passing of the peace can serve as an important element of worship; Josh is correct that it isn’t true fellowship.
By the way, Donald, happy 25th wedding anniversary to you and your wife. That’s a pretty cool accomplishment and a great example to others.
Amen!
Josh Claybourn at In the Agora hits on one of my all-time ecclesiological pet peeves:
During a period of worship often called a “time of fellowship,” some pastors love asking people to greet those around them before delving into their sermon. I u…
My father-in-law, who is a professor of missiology at a Lutheran seminary, told me that studies have shown that the practice of “meet ‘n’ greet” is almost universally disliked by churchgoers who are not long-time members of a congregation. I don’t know which studies, so I can’t point to them, but it seems to ring true to me.
I think this is a little bit different from the passing of the Peace, as a liturgical response set within the Eucharistic context. Within Lutheran theology, at least, the NT concept of koinonia is bound up with the Eucharist, by which Christ brings His church into fellowship with Him and with each other. It is appropriate, then, that a formal expression of fellowship occurs within this context, and it is an ancient practice.
I imagine the current meet ‘n’ greet evolved from this practice, but I think that its connection to the Eucharist is somewhat less obvious than it has been throughout history.
Yeah, I’ll be a contrarian on this point as well. Let’s begin by granting that “fellowship” isn’t fulfilled very well by a minute and a half of shaking hands…fair enough. I’m not sure, though, that I agree with some of the premise:
I understand the point it; it’s an attempt to foster stronger community among the congregation, an attempt to spread happiness, and a means for the pastor to feel as though he’s doing something creative.
First, it has zero to do with me “doing something creative!
Second, I’m not even sure that I intend the fostering of stronger community, because I agree that not much of that can be accomplished in such a setting.
Spreading happiness? That’s the closest to my motive. What I want to do is to give the sense that we want to be a friendly, welcoming church. We are hampered (by our ancient building) in some of the ways we might otherwise accomplish this; in northwestern PA, we are hampered half the year in ways that we could do some welcoming outdoors. What I want to convey is that we are people who do more than occupy the same pew as others. Certainly, this kind of greeting can/should/does take place spontaneously, but doing it during the church service, as we do 2 Sundays in 3, probably, serves as a regular visual reminder of the importance of doing more than just filling a pew.
The “fellowship time” itself doesn’t generally accomplish much, but it’s what it paves the way for and what it reminds people of that serves as its value, I think.
“To pretend to be warm or not to pretend to warm, that is the question; or maybe not.”
Be Warm. Be not bashful or wary or incomfortable. Extend to those around you a moment of real friendship and blessing. Use the time to place aside petty notions of awkwardness and to temporarily knock down the walls that keep people from reaching understanding with one another. Just because a congregation does not like something does not mean it shouldn’t be done. Just ask yourself, WWJD.
I like to do the “time of fellowship” after a first song. I call it the throw away song. We are totally diffent in that I came from the Vineyard and do not even know how to do a litergy if my life depended on it. So the feloowship time isn’t just ritualistic. The fellowship time I like to be a little longer so that it isn’t just a hand shake. I actually enjoy saying hi to folk. BUT…I would never put it before the sermon or before the Lord’s Supper. The dynamic of the service is intimate through the music, inspired through the preaching and a response. The whole dynamic is moving toward a closing time of worship and response. Therefore, from the worship set to the sermon to the end there really can’t be a break. We to the offering after the first song too.
brad
Joshua:
I think that the reactions to this practice, what we call “the sharing of the peace,” vary from place to place.
It is a staple of our congregation’s worship and I can assure you that it has nothing to do with this minister trying to be creative.
The practice has its roots in the New Testament exhortation to share the “kiss of peace” among believers. In more modern times, I’ve been told, Christians in India reintroduced this Biblical custom into their worship celebrations.
In our culture, of course, a kiss would be far too forward. So, handshakes and when appropriate, hugs are used.
Far from feeling awkward about it, the people of our congregation see the sharing of the peace as a major and appreciated part of our weekly worship, an especially appropriate response to the liberation that comes from God forgiving our sins. On those few occasions when I have neglected to include the sharing of the peace in our worship, folks have missed it.
Many of our new members tell me that it is just this practice that has brought them back to our congregation. The warmth of Christian fellowship they observe and the unreserved welcome they receive causes them to want to know Jesus and His Church better.
I have seen churches where this practice is awkward and meaningless, a mere disruption. That may even be the case in a majority of churches, for all I know.
But it is far from that for us. It’s one more reminder of God’s call for us to love God and love neighbor, an almost sacramental enactment of God’s peace, offered through Jesus Christ.
The practice derives from the Eastern liturgical rite common to the family of Orthodox churches and has been around since the very earliest days of the Church. The “Kiss of Peace”, as alluded to the Episcopalian friend posting earlier, is used *not* to foster community, but to foster love which allows us to more perfectly confess our devotion and faith to Christ. (Community development, of course, being a good result of this).
After the Kiss of Peace, the congregation moves into the reciting of the Nicene Creed and then into the Eucharist.
A seminal discussion of this topic and other ‘misunderstandings’ within the Orthodox faith for visitors (and newcomers) is available here:
http://www.frederica.com/orthodox/o12th-mrb.html
I wanted to add one more thought to my earlier comment.
It seems to me that we may be discussing apples and organges here, to some extent. There are times of fellowship and then, there are times set aside to share God’s peace.
If this “time of fellowship is nothing other than a “hail, fellow, well-met” time, I’d say, “Deep six it.” But if it is meant to pass the peace of God, then it can be a wonderful element in any worship celebration.
I must respectfully disagree with you. In a more casual, joyful atmosphere, and when the Holy Spirit is felt, it can be meaningful. I just got home from Sat night services at which we did what you describe, and I had meaningful positive quick chats with two other women, one whom I had never before met. That is our norm.
Too few people wash their hands in the restroom. I am sorry for not adding anything more profound, but their failure to do this is disgusting.
In our church, we bug everyone. We make them stand and greet the person next to them at the beginning of the service AND pass the peace of Christ (A “Second Greeting”! The horror!) after the assurance of pardon. We then make them come FORWARD and receive communion elements from communion servers. All this relational stuff! But we are from California. I am linking to this discussion in my ongoing series on Church musings.
I find the saying hello to your neighbor to be genuine and authentic at San Clemente Presbyterian, because the church does strive to be “a Community for the community”. I see people make a point of going across the isle to say hello to others at every service. It is now apart of our church culture and is reflected in the attitude in which people greet each other.
The second comment is, in light of the above, it is okay to feel “awkward” in church if a greater purpose is served. Welcoming people at church is important. While there are greeters at the door, it is nice to be welcomed to church if you are new. It is nice to have one more exchange, even if it is planned that gives people the opportunity to say hello and say their name. It is important to look your neighbor in the eye because maybe you will notice something you didn’t before about them.
Also, as Pastor Tod said in the comment above, we have an opportunity to “pass the Peace” to our neighbors. It is nice to have said hello to my neighbors before asking for and receiving from them God’s blessings.
Passing the Peace
Mark Roberts had a weekend series about